The Best Advice

Words and music by Brian F Baker
© Bryan Baker, Published by Blind Mime Music, ASCAP. All rights reserved.

Original Version

Recorded in Bountiful around 2010 for the Elementary Penguins album. For a few tracks on that album I was exploring ideas around found lyrics and searched Twitter for tweats about advice or the best advice. These are all phrases from the twitterverse.

There a couple musical contributors from Tapegerm on this track. I’m plucking an electric guitar and playing the synthesizer lines that puncuate throughout the song. My vocals are being pushed through The Mouth processor from Native Instruments. 

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  1. Focus on 1 thing at time
  2. Do what you do best
  3. When in doubt, “think about the biography”
  4. The people closes to you knows you best
  5. You’ll never know unless you take the risk and try
  6. Marry a skinny truck driver
  7. Stay true, stay you smile and NEVER SAY NEVER
  8. Just be yourself
  9. Do your homework and find out who is going to be the one to split you
  10. OldRepublicanMen know what’s best for me and my uterus
  11. Best advice I ever got. and it came from a stripper
  12. I think we all know that ur cats give terrible advice
  13. The best advice is best practiced then taught
  14. Follow the Fear
  15. Follow your heart
  16. Each day’s a gift and not a given right
  17. Never give a crap about Anything. Just live, forgive and forget
  18. Life is too ef’n short!let’s make d best use of it pls!”
  19. Yu Ugly. Best Advice Is To Stay In Da Cut
  20. You should probably just date a guy who doesn’t like hardcore
  21. Just walk away
  22. Don’t dress like a slut
  23. Wear a raincoat
  24. If it’s got tires or a penis your gonna have trouble with it!!
  25. Declutter
  26. Never sit down & try to work out your hourly rate
  27. Silence is the best answer for all questions
  28. Smiling is the best reaction in all situations
  29. Make ‘em laugh, make ‘em laugh, make ‘em laugh
  30. The worst men often give the best advice
  31. Turn it twice during second half
  32. Enjoy it while it lasts, it’s not going to happen that often
  33. At this stage there’s no such thing as usually

VOL. 2 (JUNE 2020)

  1. Stop playing Jumanji for christ sake.
  2. Fake a coma until February
  3. Say goodbye to the people you love
  4. Control, Alt, Delete.
  5. Go home. You’re drunk.
  6. Life’s not expensive, lifestyle is.
  7. Return your 2020 Day Planner
  8. Usually, the people with the best advice are the ones with the most problems.
  9. Do the exact opposite of the advice people give you.